pessimism

they told me i'd have to pick myself up.

she said to try and try again.

and i listened willfully when everything was good.

but, now that it's shit
and messy as hell

i don't believe them. i don't believe it's just that easy.

all things evil

do i have to sell my soul to the devil to be who i want to be?

the doors are closing and light seems miles and miles away.

if only there was a way, if only another day, another try

because i feel so alone and i can't find mine.

four letter word

Sometimes, I just want to say

F*** It.

No Home

I have no home with a welcome mat
I have no place to hang my hat

I have no room with a bed
I have no space to rest my head

I have no home to call my own
I am simply adrift; a rolling stone

I have a mom, I have a dad
Yet there is no space inside their clans

Two years ago I had a home
With four strong walls and solid bones

Three years ago I felt alone
Even when I had a home

I am not lost but I am not found
I exist between those solid grounds

With plastic boxes in storage spaces
All the time I meet new faces

Duffel bags, backpacks and suitcases
I travel far and wide to distant places

And I feel just fine.

My sister

She's getting so big. She's 12 years old. Before I know it, she's going to be 16.
I wonder who she will be. If she will be like me. If she will like me. If I will like her. If we will love each other like only sisters can. If she will value sisterhood. If she will come to me. If she will feel like she can count on me. If I will trust her. If, if, if...