Rescue Mission

It's hard to imagine that just 3 months ago, maybe 4, I was lying in bed with you. We were reminiscing and regretting at the same time. We knew it was going to be tough. We knew we would have a deep longing to have things as they once were, how it was in that bed. But, we didn't know the extent of this pain. And now, when I feel down-hearted and depressed, a light shines down on me, throwing a life-raft to rescue me from being without you. One week.

The Purpose

Time is running on and on and on.

It's hard for anyone to keep up.

These are all cycles.

Stairs

Running up and down and even sideways.

No start

No end

Just infinite.

You are simplicity and complexity, blue and pink, purple stain on white roses, ink that seeps 100 sheets deep.

I dream

I have dreams for us. I dream of happiness and success. I dream of the very same for you. I dream of waking up to you in the morning. I dream of whispering good night to you in the indigo night. I dream of walking down the street to my own song. I dream of art galleries and graffiti on subway trains. I dream of operas and underground joints. I dream paradoxical dreams. I dream of everything and nothing. I dream of villas near the ocean with dark blue pools to quench my skin. I dream of microscopic huts in villages with no name. I dream of sophistication and simplicity. I dream of riches and modesty. I dream of luxury cars and bicycles. I dream, I dream, I dream. I dream of ambitious people making a difference. I dream of helpless people waiting for me to make a difference. I dream of me standing on the edge of space and time, like looking 1oo feet down into the crystal clear deep blue before I jump. I dream of jumping. I dream of the water hitting me like one thousand pins, simply to feel alive. I dream of floating in the blue, letting its tug and currents drift me away to somewhere I have not seen or imagined. I dream of it leading me to you.

Rescue me...please?

Ferocious Fiends

I have a history of addiction that runs through my family...on both sides. It makes me wonder if I have it in me to be a fiend. If it hasn't happened yet, will it ever happen?

Get Yo Drank On--maybe?

I don't drink. One day, a year and a half from now, I may consider sampling some of these little jobbies. So many to choose from. Poisonous, really.

One day I will accompany you as you pick one of these out

Amy Winehouse

This woman is a "bad girl." I like.

Updates

So, I'm not at my regular workspace. I've decided to use my home desktop because the sound system is 1,000,000 times bigger and better than my laptop. Things are going well. Tomorrow should be fun. I am meeting Farah at a restaurant for dunch (dinner/lunch). I miss her a lot. I hope she knows just how much. Then, on Thursday the fam and I are heading to San Francisco. A grand total of 4 peeps in mom's mini SUV. That is a full car to me. I usually get the back seat to myself. Maybe I'll get to sit in the front with mom. I am excited for the mini vacation with my mom. I haven't really been on a vacation with her. It's really sad. The people that most deserve time off usually don't get it. So we will be there for close to a week. Then we will stop by another city to visit some of my family. After this trip, I have to really buckle down to get myself completely ready to go back to school. I'll meet with Terri. It's always a blast with her. I am usually at a loss for words because she is so stunning. But, the one thing I am most looking forward to in these next two weeks is going back to MA. I miss my girlfriend so much. She's incredible. Beautiful. Lovely. Sweet. And, she's a firecracker which makes things way more exciting. She brightens my world. So, that is that. I'll update this blog if anything else should pop up.

Peace.

Michelle

Michelle, my sister, my first lady, do you!
Don't let them haters make you think you don't deserve the best.
If you got the means to have a good time, go ahead and do it!
You are a woman. A Black woman. A woman whose people slaved and suffered through centuries of racism and hate.
You are educated. Determined. Beautiful. Your worth is not measured through that of your man's. You are your own woman. A single entity floating through this universe. You are a queen. Every woman is a queen. Time that we all got on your train and start acting like we are.

Knowing

I don't always know everything. I like to think that I know a lot, especially for my age, but in all honesty, I don't know anything. There are certain things that can only be learned with time. I have so much time left to be enlightened. Yet, there is something nagging at me.

I am an open vessel. I'm waiting for people to come in and out of my life. That's all that life is. A series of ins and outs. Some people stay longer than others, but eventually we are left by ourselves. And, it almost makes you wonder if it's even worth it.

Reflection after it's all said and done:

I know we argue a lot. I know I push you and pressure you sometimes. I know you like to keep things to yourself. But, I also know how beautiful our love is. I know that I cannot live without you. I know that I am choosing to not live without you. I love you. You are the queen. You are my queen.

Stitched

This fight is different from past fights.
We almost ended this one, for good.
I got my most sad this time
and I almost lost my heart this time.
But, we quickly saw the pieces dropping before us
almost in liquid form, unable to be picked up,
so we used our hearts as rags to soak up our tears--
my tears.
I cried. The first to cry and the first to get upset.
And untainted you remained, you are untouchable.
Hating to just give up on the situation, I loosely stitched my lips
closed, hoping to feel closer to you.
But, that didn't work. I stayed quiet and pleasant,
pretending to ignore the very thing that upset me in the first place:
negligence.
And so I write, because writing is the one
place in space and the only space in time
where I know I am fully heard.