Right now I am sitting in my computer chair, feeling tired, stressed, and discontent due to these horrific cramps I'm experiencing. I'm leaving for Oklahoma tomorrow, and I AM STRESSED. I'm heading for college in the fall, and paperwork is being sent to me left and right ALL the time. This means that I have to read, understand, fill out, and sign a multitude of papers. Now, since my address is not in Oklahoma, I will have to rely solely on my mom for any news regarding any paperwork that my school sends to me.
I am also stressed out because of the whole financial aspect of going to school. Not only do I have to worry about schools fees, I have to worry about transporting my ass back and forth from CA (where I live) to Massachusetts (school's location). Now, I don't have a trust, or any resemblance of wealth to my name or my family's name. This means that I have to try twice as hard to get scholarships, financial aid, etc. I also have a level of pride that won't allow me to accept anything from anyone without doing something to earn it or deserve it.
Thirdly, I am stressed because I am finally going to meet my girlfriend for the very first time. It has been over a year now, and I am so excited. But, I'm nervous because I haven't done the whole "relationship in person" thing for a while now. Plus, I have changed so much that I'm most likely not going to behave the same way I did while in my past relationships. I haven't kissed anyone in about 16 months, or done anything affectionate with a partner. So, that's also why I'm stressed :(.
Sometimes I just need to write to get it all out. I don't think anyone has even read any of these blog posts, but I don't need anyone to do that. I just need to get it all out. It's my stress reliever, my anecdote. It's therapeutic.
That's it, folks.
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