Changes

I've been feeling so un-Dominique lately. Really pessimistic and down. That's really unlike me. I can't really attribute these changes to any one thing. It could be a mix of a lot of things. I know we sometimes have to crash and hit rock bottom in order to be reborn into better beings. I'm waiting for that next phase to commence.

A flash into what's been going on. Just finished up my winter break. I spent time at my dad's for x-mas. Headed back to bean town for a couple days. The tail end of my break was spent with my mom, family, and gf in California. I had fun. But there were a few times when I seriously thought I was losing my mind. I've been letting negative vibes infiltrate my spirit. That's not a good thing.

So, I figure I should start doing more of the things I know make me happy. Music. Writing. Swimming. Drawing. Blogging. Watching videos. Reading. Spending time with loved ones.

It's easy to let negativity in. It's even easier to get lost in a world of criticism and complaining. I am the first person to admit that I am a BIG complainer. I need to stop that shit. The thing is, it's hard not to complain when you're unhappy or simply dissatisfied. I want to be satisfied. I want to quench this inner thirst, a thirst that can only be relieved by being happy with myself.

First off, I have become rather sedentary. I haven't exercised in a loooong minute. I hardly wear make-up or get dressed up. I don't like to look in the mirror. I am the heaviest I've ever been. I can feel it without stepping on a scale. It's not about weight. It's about being content with my being. I tend to let school run my life. I do find much success in academics. But, academia is NOT everything. I have to pay more attention to all the little and big parts in my life that I have neglected all last semester. It's eating me alive.

So, I have to make some changes because my confidence is seriously lacking and my positive vibe is being masked by negative energy.