Sacrifice, Love and Life

I need this blank page to release all of what's in me. I was in a period of relaxation, but now I am reminded of all my obligations and responsibilities. My mom and I have always struggled. Even when I was young I remember my mom always scraping just to get by. Maybe that's why I'm intolerant, rather impatient, to the petty problems people my age complain about. I feel like most of them don't even know about struggle. They haven't heard the ins and outs of their parents' financial instabilities. They often go on to be self-absorbed, high-maintenance snobs. I'm not saying that I'm any better. I'm not better. It's just that I feel I am always up against this hard wall. I feel like demonic creatures are trying to prevent me from succeeding, by increasing all of my financial burdens. I know I have it better than most. Lord knows I have so much love and support in my life...love and support that just can't be bought--which is a good thing, because I always happen to be broke. My mom and I are always in this constant state of self-sacrifice. We have to constantly sacrifice what we'd like to be doing to make ends meat. I am mainly stressed out because I know she's tried so hard and has sacrificed so much already. She sacrificed her adulthood to have me. I could have been easily aborted. But, she kept me. She's put a shelter over my head, and has fed me each night. I just wish she didn't have to give up what little money she has to send me to college. I'm going to the best school of the schools I was accepted to--which means it's more expensive. I just feel for her. But, I know I will pay her back along with my gratitude, as soon as I am able to do so.

I'm still growing. I'm still learning how to balance my money, and how to live on a budget based on my own money. I am evolving. I am morphing and transforming. It's just hard. It's just hard to live in a constant state of self-sacrifice. But, that's what life's about. That's what love is about. My mother's love is so great for me that she'd do anything to make sure I receive the very best. Life and love are one in the same.