Sons

I don't know why, but I am kind of upset. She asked me why I don't want boys for sons. She said I was being sexist.

Maybe I am upset because she may be revealing some kind of truth. Maybe I am sexist. Maybe I really do dislike men. I don't dislike all men. But, my general impression of most men is not one of great admiration.

I don't hate men. In fact, if society's perception of men didn't hold any truth, then maybe I would like men. Definitely not in a sexual way. But, maybe my impression of men would be more favorable.

Talking about this has released a lot of emotions, emotions I haven't felt in a long time. And maybe I lied, maybe this does have to do with my dad. Maybe my relationship with him has made me resent most men. Just like he didn't deserve my mom, maybe I feel men don't deserve most women.

But, I know I can raise a good man. I could. I would love my babies regardless of their sex. I guess in a way, I am upset because I don't want to relate me having kids with my own experience with men.