best friends?

As I grow older and reflect on my life and the people in it, I think of all the moments when I'd develop and be consumed by "best friendships." I think of this often because I cannot help but see the link between the relationships I've had with bfs and my romantic relationships with women. I remember the intensity and strength of my best friendships. I also remember falling so hard for my best friends; falling in the sense that I always wanted to be in their presence and I always wanted them to feel the same way about me as I felt for them. I remember sleepovers and secrets. I remember their beautiful bodies, bodies that they willingly and unintentionally shared with me. I remember the sting between my thighs and the dryness of my mouth. And, I remember how natural it all felt for me. I wanted to touch them and be deep inside their thoughts. As I grew older, the intensity of those relationships grew stronger. Even simple tiffs between two friends soon progressed into sad, long-drawn out, and emotionally exhausting ordeals. There was nothing worse than being ignored by those girls. There wasn't a thing I wouldn't have done for those girls in times of conflict. I'd write these letters, practically pouring my heart to them. I mean, what a gesture! They were like relationships. I mean, they were relationships. Not sexual, not even romantic, but they had the bones of a real blown out relationship. My God.