Paranoia

I'd always wonder if you'd call me first.
I never let you.
I'm too afraid of rejection.
I'm too afraid that you won't call me first.
So, I text you first, and if that doesn't work
I call you first
To remind you that you said you'd call.
And you never call,
Because I called,
and it would be pointless for you to call when I put you on the line,
first.
I'd always wonder if you'd call me
first.
Maybe this time, I will wait.