Mysterious Revealings

There's something interesting in writing blogs. Especially blogs that aren't private. But, being all "out in the open" about it is, in a lot of ways, therapeutic. It's being mysterious with the intent to reveal what is hidden. That's what writing is to me.

As open as I claim to be, I feel so alone. I feel so guarded. Maybe I just haven't found the proper way to tell them, the proper way to tell myself.

I am a walking contradiction at times. I say things I don't feel, just to say them. I feel how I feel because I think that's how I am supposed to feel.

It's only in my writing where the truth escapes. It's this dark, black cloud of smoke and gas that slowly creeps its way out of my mind into my fingertips. It may not be a pleasant sight to see, but it is interesting, sometimes fascinating...at least for me.

I want to be open without inheriting extra bullshit. What do I mean by bullshit? I don't want to be open just to have people use me, abuse me, and take me for granted. How can you take back what's already been poured? How can secrets hide away when unhidden they've become? I guess you can't. So, I'll be open. Here I will be open. Maybe not everywhere else. But, those who do care to read, can. I'll be mysterious. Mysterious with the intent to reveal. That way I won't have to physically see bullshit.